March 30, 2005
I really love the way my life is leading...
For almost a year I've been going to sleep in frustrated mood and waking up in tears(well, not everyday of course). How great?! I think I'm a very "sut by" person...I really tried so hard to let go...but it keeps on haunting me back...everytime i thought i'm thorough w/ it...it comes back...sometimes i don't understand why my heart doesnt listen to my mind...sometimes I want the "old" me to come back so I could care less abt everything else...sometimes i don't understand why some ppl are so self-centered/selfish...maybe they are brought up this way who knows...sometimes i don't understand what it is that i'm living for...sometimes i don't know why things didn't work out the way as i thought they would be...sometimes i wonder will i ever be able to forget...i'm so worried i'll be like this forever...
so many questions in my boring, lonely, useless life...maybe i should end it sooner...just j/k..hahah i will never go to that route...anyways, me finish ranting have a nice day.
if u have read this far, i want to say thank you for being here w/ me.
Author: elmolulu » Comments:
March 20, 2005
living by myself...
I've been living by myself for one week now, and i'm happy to announce...I SURVIVED! yay!! (Bravo emily!) I must say I enjoyed the freedom of doing watever i want at watever time i like. I actually don't mind to take care of house hold stuff, I think I can be pretty independent too! Except as most of you might know, I find that eating alone is quite pathetic, but since i've been bombarded with school assignments I usually eat while I work on them, or I eat while I watch the 8pm show on ftv. Several friends of mine decided to keep me company on a few dinner occasions, and I thank you all for that. However, I think I should stay home more rather than going out to eat cuz I find that eating out is quite costly and I don't really want to be the "light bulb" btw you guys if you know wat i mean. lol...
There is something that I'm not quite happy with a certain individual(s), but maybe I have too high of expectations? I don't really know...somethings seem so "basic" to me and yet those individual(s) obviously don't realize it (and that bugs me) but I don't have the right to judge other ppl so I'll just let them be and maybe I'll just stay away from them. lol....
Author: elmolulu » Comments:
March 11, 2005
yawn...just finished writing up the final copy for the assignment that's due TODAY (obviously) lol...now ready to get shower then go to school, then have to attend to some personal matters...now i'm just waiting for the BIG DAY to come...i'm kinda excited...but scared in a way...there is a side of me that doesn't want her to go(just a little bit), and of course theres also this huge desire waiting for all these to happen...lol...i'm so weird...hahha anyways, i'll see how it goes, one thing for sure i can foresee that i'll be making plenty of stops at my friends houses probably....lol or the other way around? then again...i'm too lazy to clean up...hahha hopefully i dont make a disaster and can handle everything pretty well like an adult of my age is suppose to...hahha
Author: elmolulu » Comments:
