emotional
April 25, 2007
I'll admit, I'm a very emotional person. Maybe most ppl can't tell, but that's becuz I'm Aquarius, and Aquarius can seem to have a very strong character outside but have a very fragile and emotional inside.
It's always been like that, one day I'm happy, the next day I'll think of stuff and then I'll be depressed. My emotion just fluctuates like a stock market chart.
Every now and then I would reflect on myself. I'd start questioning my own behaviors and actions, and then realized how stupid I was and promise myself not to do such foolish things again. The next day, I'll forget everything and continue the cycle all over.
This is not healthy, definitely eating up my body and soul. I had a frd that told me I look thinner than before, that should be a good news for most of the girls, but not for me, not when I know the true cause of the weight loss.
I'm tired, I want this to be over. But my foolish mind keeps on dragging me back into the trap. It's a trap that I'm willing to fall into, hence why I can never get out of it.
When will I be able to get back to the normal "me"?
Author: elmolulu » Comments:
J-Town
April 24, 2007
Finally get to eat the chicken rice omelette at J-Town, wow the egg was really good...amazingly good but would be even better if there was more chicken. I think I'm loving Japanese food more and more! OISHII!!
Oh and cotton got a "hair" cut! lol..so cute now!!
Author: elmolulu » Comments:
University...is finally over...
April 20, 2007
This is it, I just wrote my last final exam in my undergrad years! I thought it was too early to feel the full impact of what it really means, cuz I wasn't too excited or anything.
But for some odd reason, I couldn't sleep. I slept for 4 hours and then woke up feeling not sleepy at all. I think maybe in my subconscious I'm really excited but I was suppressing that feeling somehow.
So here I am, wide awake, especially after a shower at this time of the day. I was thinking about my life after University. What am I going to do now that school is over? I feel so empty all of a sudden, it seems like a part of my life is taken away from me and I have lost my goal of life.
Of course I know I still have a job to go to during the day, and really that should be my next goal in life - having a successful career. Somehow I think my life is going too well as planned and I am too accustom to it to the point where I forget what it means to have a career. It doesn't feel like a real full-time job for me because all these time I'm also in school.
Everything seems so surreal at this moment, I think I've just entered another "lost" stage of my life, searching for the meaning of life, yet again...
Author: elmolulu » Comments:
Highschool reunion
April 16, 2007
FMM's 15th Anniversary...it was so great to see old friends and teachers! It's funny how the school and everything seems the same, but the people are all so different. It's weird to actually seeing someone grow...lol...
I don't notice that in my frds cuz I see them all the time, but for the ones I only see every few yrs, its funny how their face look so much older...lol
One of the highlights were seeing Ms. Q again. I didn't expect much of a change from her cuz I've seen her occasionally because of her website. But...oh my...I could hardly recognize her that night...you won't know its her if you look at her back.
When I saw her side face I feel like it could be her, but can't tell for sure...so I went over to see her from the front. But that didn't help either...after a few minutes of struggling whether that's her or not..we finally decided to call her...and there she is.
She was like TRIPLE her size from high school and from last time I've seen her...my gosh...She said she gave birth to her second child...and after that...-_-" It was kind of scary actually...lol...not to be mean or anything, but she used to be one of the prettiest teachers in the school...now...i guess she is under the "fattest" category...
If I'm goign to look like that after giving birth in the future...I'd rather die...I don't mind kids, but for sure I won't let myself turn into a fat mother...no way...
Author: elmolulu » Comments:
I miss you...
April 08, 2007
原來可以解作"我想念你", 同一時間亦可解釋為"我錯過了你"...
It can be explained as "I miss you, I haven't seen you in a long time"...or you can read it as "I missed you, I lost the chance to be with you"...
Never thought of it this way, I'm going to look at "I miss you" differently from now on...
Happy ending...who doesn't want?! But in real life, most of the time, most of our relationships are made up by many many "I miss you"s...
Timing is definitely one of the most important factor in relationships...once you missed the right moment, there is no going back...everything just can't be the same anymore...it's not that you don't want things to be the same, but sometimes, things are just not within control...
I hate to see...absolutely hate to see...two people who are in love with each other, but because of the circumstances they can't be together even if they want to...
Why does this world have to be so cruel?!
Author: elmolulu » Comments:
What if?...there is no if in this world...
April 02, 2007
偏愛面子 總不肯開口 太沒有意思
明明可以 像回復當年那樣子
捨棄面子 講一聲很愛 聽罷就會知
然而 忙著多的是 誰沒有守時
而這種機會只得一次
很想講一句在意嗎
親暱的關係未變吧
如若講出 遲來的說話
連人間寂寥都不怕
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I couldn't stop crying the entire afternoon...no matter how much I tried to control it...I just couldn't stop my tears from falling down...now that I'm back to my room...my tears started to fall again...I think I'm going to have a sleepless night...sigh...
and...TWNT is not that bad! I liked it! lol!! I'd recommend everyone to go see it...wahhahaha
Author: elmolulu » Comments:
Happy April Fool!
April 01, 2007
Oh my...I haven't blogged a single entry since Feb 4th...LOL...quite a bit happened during this time, just that I'm too lazy(as usual) to think of ways of writing down my daily life. hahah....
This morning/afternoon I went to have dim sum w/ two friends and thank you Jenn for treating us lunch. I was speaking non-sense through some of the conversations and seems like my frds are getting annoyed of me now...LOL nonetheless, I was able to keep them entertained!
Anyways, on my way home I suddenly have doubts in a decision I made earlier. I don't know if that's the right thing to do, cuz I'm kind of regretting it now...but then that's how I always am...constantly changing my mind.
The slightest and meaningless thing can lead me into questioning my own decisions MOST of the time...all in all, I don't think what I'm doing is the best solution, but once in a while I just want to have things in my own way regardless of what others may think...cuz most of the time I cared too much abt what other ppl think...
I want to be selfish for once but I will probably regret it after...lol...yeah...I have a very contradicting personality...
Author: elmolulu » Comments:
