June 29, 2008
I think I'm really disappointed in my mom...i was in the living room watching tv and she was on the phone w/ her friend. So she knew i'm there and I'm pretty sure the things she said is really what she believes in.
Apparently for me to have the job I'm working at is becuz i'm lucky. She said more than once to her friend that her younger daughter is really lucky to have a job and she's lucky becuz her career path was always smooth.
I was actually furious when I heard that. So in her eyes, all my success is due to luck, not because I worked hard for it nor deserve it, just plain luck. I think this is probably the most insulting thing one can hear from one's parent. Now i finally understand why she wasn't exactly proud of me all these yrs, it's becuz i'm just a lucky girl.
The important thing is that you know and are proud of how much work, effort, and all the decisions that you made that have gotten you where you are now.
Although, it would be great if parents could understand and acknowledge that. Sometimes it is so difficult to please them.
People like to attribute other people's success to luck because then they have an excuse for not being as successful themselves. "It's not that I don't work as hard, it's only cuz I'm not as lucky!"
You'd think your mom would be above that though, especially when talking about their daughter. Some parents use really bad tactics to try to "encourage" their kids. Your mom is definetly one of them.
Yes, Chinese people are modest ma. They tend to say bad things about their own kids, but praise other people's kids.
I think it's just second nature, and you shouldn't take it to heart. I'm sure your parents are proud-- but don't expect them to say that to your face :P It's just like how I would never tell my parents "I love you".
Leave your response